Clockwise starting with me that’s Laura, Mark, Jeanne, Jamal, and younger Jamal on C&O Canal’s Billy Goat Trail

We’re back in the States for a couple of months, mostly for a pretty grim reason: I have an 11-year-old great-nephew in the closing stages of terminal cancer. So we’re on our way to Duluth for what is likely a final visit. First, though, we had to get back to North America. One of the joys of traveling the way we do is that when we decide to change continents we can hunt around for both departure and arrival cities and just take the best option. In this case the best option was to fly into Dulles Airport outside DC which is perfect, since Mark’s sister Jeanne and her family, along with our great friend Laura and her family, all live in the area.

And then – notwithstanding the otherwise sad reason for our visit and the fact that we’d just flown 12 time zones from Bangkok (yes, that’s the worst jet lag you can get) – we had an absolutely wonderful three-day visit. Part of the fun was just hanging out, spending time with our niece and nephew, both of whom are growing up into interesting humans. Who would have guessed?

Just hanging out, reading the comics for the first time in maybe 10 years. I didn’t know Mark took this until I saw it here but somehow I think it’s cool.

And then there were the excursions. First up was a guided tour of the National Gallery, one of the Smithsonian museums in DC. Laura was selected for a two-year training program as a docent there and while she’s not yet finished the training it was still really interesting to have her take us around and show us several of her favorite pieces, hearing the back story that you’d never know without an expert guide. Unlike too many guides she didn’t just drone on and on so it was really a wonderful opportunity for us.

Jeanne & Laura exhibiting Hans Haacke’s “Condensation Wall” in the National Gallery. It’s just glass and moisture, with the shapes and intensity shifting throughout the day as the sunlight and temperature changes.

Another highlight was a little dinner party for what seemed like 40 people or so that Jeanne just threw together. Her family, Laura’s family, us, their friends Mike & Basil and Mike, even our old, old friend Grace and her husband Mark. So less than 40, but still a big crowd, and she just threw it together like it was nothing after we’d been out for a hike during the afternoon. Impressive.

The spread Jeanne threw together in her spare time. There’s hummus, beans, roasted veggies, kibbeh, fish, rice … and plenty of wine and cocktails.

Grace & Mark were happy to be reunited at Jeanne’s dinner party

Speaking of meals, we went to two really good restaurants in Vienna, both of which were notable. First up was Basin’s on Church, a nice restaurant with great cocktails where Jeanne had taken us once before. The difference this time was that her son Jamal is now the host there, acting all like a young adult and everything. The food was quite good but what really struck us is just how big the portions are. We’ve noticed before – and continue to be amazed as our U.S. travels continue – that portion sizes in American restaurants are just huge. Big.

At any rate, there was one other great restaurant experience, too, this one at a Vienna restaurant called Vienna. Set in a completely unassuming suburban office building just a couple miles from Jeanne’s house the restaurant was nothing short of spectacular. Not at all what one might fear from a suburban restaurant in a random setting, I thought it was great.

And finally, then there was a nice hike along the C&O Canal outside DC. Young Jamal had recently been there and showed us the Billy Goat Trail on a beautiful sunny late winter day. Very nice way to get outside a bit before Jeanne’s dinner party.

Laura, Mark, Jeanne, and the two Jamals along Billy Goat Trail

And then just that fast it was time to leave. From here we’re visiting Mark’s parents in Michigan before moving on to Duluth to see my family. We have a couple months in the States and so far it’s started out pretty great.

Jeanne, Jamal, & Laura take a break from hiking

Jeanne & here baby!

A picture of me and Mark that’s not a selfie!

And one that is a selfie

Me & Laura

Me & Jeanne on a great little trail behind her house that provide me with a few hours of good walking

And finally, Grace, Mark, & Laura. They were all friends back at the University of Michigan and then, pre-marriage for all of us, we were roommates in DC. Old friends are always the best friends.

What’s a family reunion without a family portrait? Here’s my mother with five of her six children, two daughters-in-law, eight grandchildren, one sort-of grandson-in-law, and two great-grandchildren. If the Alaska crowd had made it down this would be a much bigger picture.

This was a strange trip. The idea was to just go home for a visit, a long week in Duluth. My brother and sister would be working during the week but I’d have time to visit my mother, hang out in the evening with family, and see everyone during the weekend. Mark would be in Tuscany studying Italian with a friend and it would be pleasant.

Then my niece got the news no one wanted: the cancer that had attacked her then-eight-year-old son a couple years ago was back. He’d been declared cancer free just six or eight months earlier, though everyone knew there was a chance it would return. It did, a lot sooner than we’d expected, and this time there was no treatment. He’s fine for now, but his days are distinctly limited. So instead of a week just hanging out in Duluth, we decided to rent a few cabins on a lake near Grand Rapids and invite whatever siblings could make it back to spend the Fourth of July week being family, doing what we could to support each other. In the end it ended up being Al & Anita fresh off our holiday in Greece along with their two kids, my sister Marie and her three adult children from North Carolina, and the whole Duluth gang.

Mom with her four youngest grandkids and two great-grandkids. The young ‘uns have a lot of fun at these family reunions.

Here’s the weird part. Needless to say, there was a lot of pain in the crowd. Dexter’s tumors are still extremely small – microscopic, I assume – so the cancer isn’t bothering him to any measurable extent. But everyone always knows they’re back and at some point in a few months, probably not a lot more, they will start taking over. And so the kids play – and it’s enormously fun watching the youngsters frolic at a lake-side resort – while the adults read and talk and cook and play cards and all that. But every so often you catch yourself having maybe too much fun, forgetting for a moment, recognizing that this is the last time we’ll be together this way without the seemingly unbearable pain of Dex’s cancer. You can ignore the sadness for a while, but it’s always lurking ready to remind you how incomprehensibly unfair life can be.

Still, we carry on. The long week together gave me time to connect with nieces and nephews I rarely see. I spent lots of time with my siblings and the two sisters-in-law who were there but that still leaves plenty of time to walk or find a quiet place to read. My mother’s Alzheimers continues it’s inexorable path, but for now at least it’s just a matter of short-term memory; she certainly knows who we are and what’s going on around her. Ask her who drove her out to the lodge that morning, though, and that’s another story.

Sunset over North Star Lake. If I look at this picture for just a few seconds I can start to hear the loons, a sound I love.

The lake itself is really beautiful, as these Northern Minnesota lakes all are. I’d love the area around Grand Rapids even if I didn’t know it was the birthplace of Francis Gum, better known as Judy Garland. The people here are just always so friendly, like when I went into a grocery store to get quarters to do laundry and the woman just smiles and says “Of course, honey!” (Try that on the East Coast….) My favorite time of the day is early morning when few people are up; I go down to the lake in the quiet and read, watch the ducks, and listen to the loons. Sometimes I wonder why I travel all over the world looking for beauty when it’s really right here. And then my brother Vic is a great cook who apparently likes cooking for big crowds, so we never wanted for good food. All in all a good place to spend a week of mixed joy and pain.

After a week, though, it was definitely time to hit the road again. You could tell the Duluth crowd appreciated having us there to share this sad journey, but they were also happy to see us leaving so they could have their normal lives back. For now, then, it’s back to Italy to join Mark for the last few days of our stay in Tuscany.

The day we left the lodge our tribe – the Fond du Lac Ojibwe band – held their annual Veterans Pow-wow. These are shots from the grand entrance.

My sister Rebecca (the tribe’s assistant attorney) on the right with her daughter Lily in their jingle dresses. If you were wondering, Lily made that dress herself. Pretty impressive, huh?

Lily in civilian clothes

Dex & Jacob being cool in the mottled shade of a tree. He looks healthy enough, right?

My mom knitting. I think I’ve seen that picture a few times over the years…

Mom with eight grandkids and two great grandkids

I get a picture with my mother, too. And if you’re wondering, yes, she knitted that shawl, too.

Finally, one more shot of North Star Lake. It made a beautiful setting for a sometimes beautiful, sometimes painful week. And yes, sometimes both at once.